Here is a list of worthy quotes from the Class of 2011 and teachers during the 2007-2008 school year. This is not meant to offend or embarrass anyone. If you do not like a quote, please contact me, and I'll remove the quote right away. Enjoy!
Teacher Quotes
- They mate and die, just like people in fraternities
- Scorpians are born alive as opposed to trilobites who are born dead. That's why they're extinct!
- Adam... tranquilizer time!
- Mrs. Laughlin: So what do you think, Eli?
Eli: I was just stretching
Mrs. Laughlin Well, let's just call on you anyway. - Here is the stigma, here is the style; open the ovary, and see all the ovules!
- Yes, I win again!
- It'a take-home exam, and also a bring-back exam
- No! I will not cry in front of my class!
- Like people who don't exercise, all mollusks have soft bodies.
- Where's my leech? Someone kidnapped my leech! That is so wrong!
- I won, and that's what life is all about.
- I'll see you at 3:30AM at the Boneyard tonight. Bring your surfboards!
- Look at the tweezers! White people chopsticks!
- Go Uni High Hermaphrodites!
- How many of you have 4 heads? All of you do - right above your eyebrows
- Sometimes, when I feel threatened, I spew my arms out like a jellyfish, *spoosh*
- I grow a dorsel fin when I get angry.
- What political party do plants come from? Green!
- Remember, this test is totally optional.
- If you don't have a box, you can't close it...
- Gene-in-a-Box!
- This is like mitosis hell. It just keeps on going, doesn't it?
- I've had this war with pigeons for about 10 years.
- Terrorists love green beans!
- ...and they lived happily ever after. until his medication ran out.
- I've seen this on exams, and this is very disturbing.
- This is approximately Theorem 12-2, but not exactly.
- You didn't bother checking your answers. Isn't that nice?
- If I become an alcoholic, I blame you [freshmen].
- Eli, why is the word ping pong written on the top of your notes?
- Say you want to slap the crap out of somebody... (about anarchy)
- And the line stabs the plan... I mean plane...
- Albert, how are your pants staying up?
- In my next life, I wouldn't go to college.
(later) I want to paint people's nails and toenails...It's the thing I really love to do.
As soon as I get a stable income, the first thing I'll do is get a John Deere riding lawnmower.
Then I'll get a John Deere weed eater and mow my lawn all day long. - This is no time for lollipops.
Student Quotes
- John: Stop it with the bells already.
- Ian S: Kevin, you're going to be bombarded by my sex pheromes.
- Jay: You two break it up or I will burn you both alive.
- Mr.Garvey: Do you notice that Oliver is frequently used on the French quizzes?
Youyang: How come they never use my name? - Sol: I just solved AIDS... twice!
- Isaac: You look a lot like your mother.
Simone: That's not my mother... - Lisa: You could feed a whole third-world country with that grapefruit.
- Revathi: I'd been impregnated by a fuzzball.
- Jay: I can drive.
Amanda: Oh God help us. - Youyang: Why are you smiling?
Eli: Because I'm a happy, happy, boy! - Eli: I know! I love to eat!
- If the world declared a war on stupidity, you would get nuked.
- Mr. Garvey: Un magasin is like a... um...
Lisa: Target?
Mr. Garvey: No...
Youyang: Super Target? - Mr. Butler This is The Field of Miracles in Pisa.
- Adam: Isn't that a place in Iowa?
- KahlilahMr. Dude...!
- Katherine: This hallway is like a vein clogged with cholesterol.
Lisa: Hey! Let's cause a heart attack! - Adam: All plants grow towards gravity, because otherwise, they would all be floating away (about gravitropism)
- - This is called giving up
Isaac: No, this is called a drawing. - Isaac: When Kevin touches you, don't turn around....
- Miles: Joey, I need your molecules.
- Ollie: I wish I was made out of string so I could be like Spiderman!
- Celinda: Pregnant women... can surprise you sometimes.
- Adam: Mike, I cant see over your big head!
Mike: Drink your milk, Adam. - Eli: Go home and eat your eggrolls.
Youyang: Well, at least I don't eat crackers - chocolate crackers. - Stef: I'm taking Driver's Ed.
Jenny: (singing) Stefanie's getting oldie... and moldy!
Stef: You won't be saying that when you want a ride.
Jenny: Did I ever tell you how much I love you? I love mold! - Albert: Look at this bubble! This is what makes the [basketball] shoe!
- - Which famous people had everything and were still unhappy?
Albert: Marilyn Monroe, Elvis... Shirley Temple? - Sol: My dream house would be in squirrel heaven on God's pinky finger and it would be made of cheese and potatoes.
- - Do you ever get chicken thrown at you?
Fiona: Only in my mind. - - And what does the skull and crossbones mean?
Alex: It'll turn you into a pirate?
- No, it means that it tastes good. - - What color chalk do you want?
Sol: The magic one that spurts rainbows and unicorns out of the tip when it touches the chalkboard!
- I don't think I have that color.
(later) - Sol, I know you're in a good mood, but this is very disturbing... - Albert: How do you draw an eight?
- Are you serious?
Albert: I think it's something like this...
- Well just wait and maybe it will come to you.
Albert: (whispering to Rachael) I think I'll just draw two circles. - - And do you remember what "et" means?
Albert: Either/or?
- No, just the opposite.
Albert: Oh, I know! Or/Either! - - Why is this coin significant to me?
Adam: Because it has lines on it?
(pause) No, because I wrote a research paper about it in college - Jay: What do you think would make your life easier?
Allen: God, I wish I was a hispanic girl. - - The cilia move in synchronou...
Lisa: Like pigeons! - Albert: I'm getting these hot flashes because you know, I am a woman.
(later) I think I speak for all the women here...
Lily: No! No! No you do not Albert! - Zach: Katy, it's all your fault!
Katy: Oh God. What'd I do now?
Zach: You saved over the file, silly!
Katy: I didn't do tha-
Zach: No, David did, we're just blaming it on you. - Nancy: Get back here Stef, you're the white bread in this sandwich.
- Jay: Then, I took a book on the history of wine and started hitting myself. That didn't work. Then the teacher gave me a funny look.
- Wynee: I've redefined emo colors!
- Youyang: Honestly Ian, how many spleens to we have?
Other Quotes
- Does white bread make you lonely?
- I feel I can say with some confidence that I feel very different from a banana!
- You'd be surprised, there are some pretty weird people at IHOP at 3AM.
